Post by codependentLPN on Feb 15, 2005 17:22:39 GMT -5
First, I want to say THANK YOU Robin & Skye!!!!!!You both have been helping me more than you realize! I can't/haven't found anything like your words of wisdom in any book I've bought (have about 9!!), that's for sure!
As for honsesty, we usually have that, just not when he's on benzo's. We can talk about any & everything. We feel like God put us together & we're soulmates. Just this issue seems to come between us and I've never quite known WHAT to do. I've tried EVERYTHING & nothing works cuz he always relapses. I'm actually shocked at myself for putting up with so much & my feelings for him not changing, but I am glad. Right now he's in the reflective stages, feeling guilty, promising to not just tell me but to show me, and of course I've heard it all before.Yes, I'm willing to give him a chance; yes I've tried encouraging him & emphasizing how wonderful he is when not on benzo's; yes, we've had nice long heart-to-heart talks. But somehow or another when I least expect it & start regaining faith in him, that's usually when he relapses, and I can see it coming. As for offering other methods to relieve his symptoms, I've tried & his response is usually that he's tried it & it doesn't work or he doesn't like the s/e's, or he don't like the taste,etc,etc. His final answer is that nothing works but this "(magic)" pill-always a benzo. My situation now sounds an awful lot like what you & your wife had gone thru. This has gone on so long with him that I find myself wondering if the saying "once an addict, always an addict" is true for him. I never believed that personally since there are so many people who have overcome it, but why does he do so well only to relapse again?? When it finally seems like he knows WHAT to do & HOW to do it and is doing so good, seems like he eventually 'gives in' to the addictive voice inside him, and BOOM, here comes the tornado!!
As for honsesty, we usually have that, just not when he's on benzo's. We can talk about any & everything. We feel like God put us together & we're soulmates. Just this issue seems to come between us and I've never quite known WHAT to do. I've tried EVERYTHING & nothing works cuz he always relapses. I'm actually shocked at myself for putting up with so much & my feelings for him not changing, but I am glad. Right now he's in the reflective stages, feeling guilty, promising to not just tell me but to show me, and of course I've heard it all before.Yes, I'm willing to give him a chance; yes I've tried encouraging him & emphasizing how wonderful he is when not on benzo's; yes, we've had nice long heart-to-heart talks. But somehow or another when I least expect it & start regaining faith in him, that's usually when he relapses, and I can see it coming. As for offering other methods to relieve his symptoms, I've tried & his response is usually that he's tried it & it doesn't work or he doesn't like the s/e's, or he don't like the taste,etc,etc. His final answer is that nothing works but this "(magic)" pill-always a benzo. My situation now sounds an awful lot like what you & your wife had gone thru. This has gone on so long with him that I find myself wondering if the saying "once an addict, always an addict" is true for him. I never believed that personally since there are so many people who have overcome it, but why does he do so well only to relapse again?? When it finally seems like he knows WHAT to do & HOW to do it and is doing so good, seems like he eventually 'gives in' to the addictive voice inside him, and BOOM, here comes the tornado!!